Blog Post New Entry
"C" is for Colonoscopy(By Les)
|
|
Greetings Manic Fans. Les here to begin a blog to chronicle all the gruesome details of a normal procedure that’s part of growing older so that you all might know what you’ve got to look forward to(I was considering an evil grin here, but will settle for a grim look of “yeah, this is going to happen, so prepare yourselves,” instead.....).
Yes, at 43 years old, yours truly is about to have his first colonoscopy
WOOT! YEAH! 3 CHEERS! FANTASTIC!!!
um....wait, what?.....what’s that?
Yep, for the uninitiated, a colonoscopy is a procedure where the doctors insert a fiber-optic camera on a cable strait up your rectum and take a movie of a trip right up your colon, intestines and all those yummy places where cancer might decide to set up a hotel. If they find polyps, they can remove them with electricity. If they find cancer, they can map it to see where they’ll need to concentrate treatment or go in later to remove it.
If you think of your digestive system kind of like a smaller version of the city sewer system, then a colonoscopy is very similar to doing a camera snake to find irregularities in a main line
It’s a regular precautionary, much like a mammogram or pap-smear is for the ladies, or a prostate exam is for the men....only longer, scarier and costlier, but I digress.....
You might ask, “Why are you getting one now, Les?”....well, I’m glad you asked. 2 reasons:
1. My Father had...er...has colon and intestinal cancer....he’s a tough old bird, so he’s kept it in check for over 8 years now(Not bad for a man pushing 72....). However, he’s used up his ability to take radiation and kemo-therapy treatments, so he’s going to lose the battle now...it’s just a question of when. He’s going to try and hang on for another 2 years so he can celebrate his 50th wedding anniversary with my mother-say a prayer that he succeeds if you are so inclined, my friends. Thanks.
and
2. I recently found blood when I wiped.....yeah, it’s freaky and frightening as hell. It might just be hemorrhoids(which I have had to deal with before)....but with the family history, it’s better to be safe than dead.....so....
With the support and urging of my best friend, Elle, I set up the consultation and went in for the preliminary interview.
Now, I’m going to be completely honest with you.....that waiting room was really depressing. I was easily the youngest man in it....by about 30-40 years! I have a pretty good imagination and a predilection for seeing doom and gloom when I get scared. Sitting there amongst the ailing senior citizens made me feel like my years were slipping away faster just by being there. I know we all get older, but do I have to be reminded of it? C’mon! I’m worried I might have to deal with a painfully debilitating disease here....don’t add the spectre of death to my mood!
Anyway......(Having fun yet?)
I was called in and given all the usual physical rituals...weight(GOOD LORD! DO I REALLY WEIGH 214 Lbs! ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!*make note to go on Weight Watchers as soon as possible....Elle was completely right about that...remember to thank her for being my best friend.....), blood pressure(excellent, as always 
something is going right...gotta cling to that...), eyes, ears, reflexes, simple blood draw(I’m an expert at those, as I used to donate blood all the time*good feeling from being useful....). And then a long wait for the doctor to come in and give me all the good news.
something is going right...gotta cling to that...), eyes, ears, reflexes, simple blood draw(I’m an expert at those, as I used to donate blood all the time*good feeling from being useful....). And then a long wait for the doctor to come in and give me all the good news.
*insert your own screen saver here for about 20 minutes* I played my iPhone game apps to pass the time....OH! If you haven’t played it, Disney has a great one called “Where’s my Perry?” Basically a Phineas and Ferb game, you help Perry the Platypus
get through underground hamster tunnels by moving water and steam through dirt and....oh...I'm getting off the subject here...sorry.....
The Doctor arrived
(No, not that Doctor, but that would’ve been AWESOME!!!!).
Nope! The quite human MD took me through the list of what was going to happen and the preparations I’d have to go through(mostly what I could or couldn’t eat at 10 days, 7 days, 5 days, 1 day before the procedure. Yeah....the clear fluid diet is going to suck....as is the medicine I’m going to have to take to forcibly expel everything that’s been sitting in my digestive tract for 30 years(kind of like the effect of eating buffalo wings, 3 bran muffins, drinking 2 regal beers and a large double espresso...with an EX-Lax chaser to top it off...yeah, that’s going to be a fun time.....yeah, I’m being extremely sarcastic here....)
There’s anesthesia involved(but not enough to completely knock me out as my participation is required to move a few times.......
hrmm!
...and I’ve gotta have a friend available to drive me and stay during the procedure.....”AW C’MON! Just find me a bed and I’ll sleep it off...I’M really good at sleeping, trust me! I never get enough!”....Damn! Hospital procedures forbid it....there goes another brilliant idea down the drain.......
So that’s the basic idea. I intend to do a running blog on this. From day 10 to ground zero...and anything that might come from it if I do have something dreadfully wrong. I’m doing this to help relieve my anxiety and also to share what could be a really significant moment in my life with you, one that you all might experience sooner or later in your lives. Thanks for reading, my friends. I’ll see you around the blog. Peace.
Categories: Blogs and collaborations by Les
Post a Comment
Oops!
The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.
25 Comments
That Long-Haired Creepy Guy says...
A delightful combination of humor and real-life horror. Thanks for giving the younger folks plenty of nightmare fuel about the years that are to come!
(And sorry for taking so long at getting to this!)
Hi That Long-Haired Creepy Guy. Better late than never, my friend. i'm always glad to give you young whippersnappers a sneak peek into the future LOL! Thanks for commenting. Peace.
A delightful combination of humor and real-life horror. Thanks for giving the younger folks plenty of nightmare fuel about the years that are to come!
(And sorry for taking so long at getting to this!)
(And sorry for taking so long at getting to this!)
Jason on the House says...
You just made me laugh out loud (random images and Doctor Who bit) and then immediately be scared to death. Thank you for sharing the story, and stay in good health.
Hi Jason on the House. I'm glad I could make you laugh in the midst of a scary read. Thanks for commenting, my friend. Peace.
You just made me laugh out loud (random images and Doctor Who bit) and then immediately be scared to death. Thank you for sharing the story, and stay in good health.
Les says...
Thanks, my friend, I appreciate it.-oh, and Fry had one on Futurama as well-only his revealed he'd gotten infested by space worms from a gas station egg salad sandwich he'd eaten. They made him smarter and stronger....I'm never that lucky LOL!
Seen that one to, it was a pretty gross episode.
Fusionater says...
Ah, my bad, I have seen that episode of King of the Hill, really, good luck.
Thanks, my friend, I appreciate it.-oh, and Fry had one on Futurama as well-only his revealed he'd gotten infested by space worms from a gas station egg salad sandwich he'd eaten. They made him smarter and stronger....I'm never that lucky LOL!
Les says...
Hi Fusionater. LMAO That was funny, but that was a prostate check.....a colonoscopy goes a lot deeper...er..yeah...deeper...and deeper*shudder! If I can find you a clip, Hank Hill had one on King of the Hill, my friend. Peace.
Ah, my bad, I have seen that episode of King of the Hill, really, good luck.
alexthed says...
If it makes you feel better, I saw a young, fit comedian who said he had one too - just because he was that obsessed with being healthy.
Hi alexthed. Really? Wow! They're not recommended until you turn 40! LOL! Thanks for the chuckle, my friend. Peace.
Fusionater says...
Yeah...I always imagine Peter Griffins reaction whenever I think of Colonoscopies...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUb0CBoGyXw
Still, We'll all be hear to support you if need be, good luck with all of this Les.
Hi Fusionater. LMAO That was funny, but that was a prostate check.....a colonoscopy goes a lot deeper...er..yeah...deeper...and deeper*shudder! If I can find you a clip, Hank Hill had one on King of the Hill, my friend. Peace.
If it makes you feel better, I saw a young, fit comedian who said he had one too - just because he was that obsessed with being healthy.
Yeah...I always imagine Peter Griffins reaction whenever I think of Colonoscopies...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUb0CBoGyXw
Still, We'll all be hear to support you if need be, good luck with all of this Les.
Edit: Yup! played that P and F game!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUb0CBoGyXw
Still, We'll all be hear to support you if need be, good luck with all of this Les.
Edit: Yup! played that P and F game!
James Bevan says...
Les, I commend you for having the courage to talk about this, and hope that everything goes well with your examinations. Stay in good health, my friend.
Oh, if you're looking for some other good iphone games to kill time in the waiting room, check out The Act (think Walter Mitty meets Dragon's Lair) and Drakerider (RPG with dragons - pure awesome right there)
Hi Jim. Thank you very much, my friend. I appreciate it. The Act sounds intriguing, I'll have to check it out. Peace.
Les, I commend you for having the courage to talk about this, and hope that everything goes well with your examinations. Stay in good health, my friend.
Oh, if you're looking for some other good iphone games to kill time in the waiting room, check out The Act (think Walter Mitty meets Dragon's Lair) and Drakerider (RPG with dragons - pure awesome right there)
Oh, if you're looking for some other good iphone games to kill time in the waiting room, check out The Act (think Walter Mitty meets Dragon's Lair) and Drakerider (RPG with dragons - pure awesome right there)
DawnHeart says...
Well thanks for the heads up. I'm 18 (19 next month) so I have a while to wait but I'm going to have to start at 30 because of my dad. I hope I'll be able to handle it as well as you did. I hope you'll be okay and let us know how it goes.
Hi DawnHeart. Thanks a lot, my friend. I'll definitely follow up with the results. Peace.
Well thanks for the heads up. I'm 18 (19 next month) so I have a while to wait but I'm going to have to start at 30 because of my dad. I hope I'll be able to handle it as well as you did. I hope you'll be okay and let us know how it goes.
JotaKa says...
Yikes.
...I hope it's nothing.
Hi JotaKa. Thanks, me too, my friend. Peace.
Dark Jak says...
Hey Les. Not sure what it is but something about the doctor who image made me laugh pretty hard. Hope everything goes well for you and the doctor gives you a clean bill.
Hi Dark Jak. LOL! Yeah, I'm really trying to cope with this through humour. Thanks for the support, my friend. Peace.
Hey Les. Not sure what it is but something about the doctor who image made me laugh pretty hard. Hope everything goes well for you and the doctor gives you a clean bill.
MBA-Ms Bad Ass says...
Hey Les!
I'm scared to death of cancer and colonoscopies. Breast cancer (or cancer in general) really doesn't run in my family, but diabetes and heart disease does. I really hope you get a clean bill of health, Les. I think this whole site is pulling for you, babydoll.
Hi MBA-Ms Bad Ass. Thank you very much, my friend. And I hope your family continues to enjoy good health. Peace.
Categories
Recent Blog Entries
by Deathshead419 | 0 comments
by Fluffyman | 5 comments
by Les | 14 comments
by The Creature | 4 comments
Recent Videos
8 views - 1 comment
23 views - 2 comments
40 views - 0 comments
9 views - 0 comments
Recent Forum Posts
by MaxJayJay
19 seconds ago
by Ryan McCarthy
2 hours ago
by Les
4 hours ago
by The Creature
5 hours ago
TLHCG's Push Comes To Shove
Subscribe to the Community!
Follow Us
Webs Counter
Oops!
Oops, you forgot something.