|Posted by SOJA on August 20, 2012 at 1:05 AM|
*Now I feel like putting this up.
Life is a lot like a path. You have to chose which way your going and how your going to live with that decision. However, once you've abandoned that other path, you could go back; it just feels a little silly to turn back around and do it all over again.
For me, I've always based a decision on either dumb luck, or work my way through my own stupidity. That's not the way I want to live at all. I have to base it on my guts and how I feel inside. I just never knew how I felt inside. I've based my ideas and thoughts to please my own family, instead of what I want. Then again, I've become so blinded that I don't know what to think anymore. I've struggled with thinking for myself... But no more. No more sheepish behavior. No more silence or blindly agreeing with people.
My dad and I were talking a couple days ago about my future and where I truly want to be in life. We started talking about what seems more "comfortable" for me. As I thought of selling comic books my whole life, I thought, "was it really something I wanted to do"? Just sit around, thinking of ideas, just to sell them? Sure I'd be supporting my family and being happy with myself... But is that truly how I felt? Then I thought of my youth.
I liked to draw, write, and think of different ideas but sometimes I get tired of doing just that. It's nice to sketch ideas and draw figures randomly though, but there are so many things in life that I want. To be powerful, strong, brave, and heroic, is something that I've pined for. To get strong, to get knowledgeable about the world, but most importantly, to travel. I want to see the world.
As a little girl, I loved to travel. During my childhood, leaving the house for vacation was like a special privelege. I've gone camping in Utah, beach bummed in California, and traveled across several states with my family. We slept in motels, hotels, and in our own car. We went to Denny's, Cracker Barrel, and Blue Berry Hill for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It was a very personal trip that kept us closer as a family. Looking back, I want to do things like that all by myself.
Maybe if I took a job like that it would be great... Or maybe...
Just to fly. Just to fly through the purple sky without being scared would be a wonder.