Manic Expression

Hello and welcome to In Too Deep, where I over-analyse a certain section of pop culture.

Well with Cars Land coming out this, err, year, I decided the next six lands that Disney should be coming up with and putting in their park. Hell they could make up a whole separate park just to put these lands in. So what are they? Well lets find out.

6)Beastly Kingdom: Okay this is cheating a bit because they actually did plan to make this land for Animal Kingdom. Dedicated to all the mythical animals that you find in stories and whatnot. They were even going to have a duelling dragon ride. But once they found out that Universals Islands of Adventure was going to do the same thing they chickened out and instead based their next expansion on... Avatar. Seriously, what the hell Disney? What the actual Hell? When I think preachy environment message that has lacklustre story and poor characters I think Pocahontas, though when you add in blue smurfy cat people Avatar is a close second. You already have one property that does this. Why do you want to make a second? Avatar's not even a good movie. It'll be forgotten in a few more years anyway (if it weren't for all the bloody sequels they'll pump out of it). Make Beastly Kingdom instead.

5)Wasteland/Timeless River: Okay this only makes sense if you've played Epic Mickey and/or Kingdom Hearts 2. Basically you know all those old characters that existed in the 1930s shorts. Oswald the Lucky Rabbit and the like? Well do what you do with Toon Town (my favourite land, since there isn't a single straight line or 90 degree corner inside the entire place) and make an old-school version of it. Educate the kids on the early history of the cartoon characters that the know and love. They got rid of Toon Town (or it's equivalent) at Disney World, it'd be the perfect replacement. Plus you can see more of that old stuff that no one's interested in any more.

4)*Insert Country Here*: You know, despite what some people might say, EPCOT is still my favourite theme park out of them all. While it's highly unlikely that it'll have any expansion (since there's no bloody room), it'd still be awesome to have a few other countries thrown into the mix. While I ain't gonna get my hopes up and think that New Zealand deserves a mention (cos it totally does), would it hurt to throw in a pacific culture or two? Something from Australasia, that little bit of land that takes up quite a lot and deserves to be recognised. Failing that I'm sure there are plenty of countries that could be made up.

3)Wonderland: While Walt Disney was famous for hating the final film and glad it bombed, Wonderland is still a pretty interesting place. So why don't they make a whole land out of it? Let people actually walk around Wonderland and experience what Alice experienced. Oh you wouldn't want to be on LSD or anything went you went through it, but the kids will love the bizarre logic. Plus it'll give the Imagineers a chance to go wild. So what's stopping them?

2)Marvel Land: Yes I know that Universal Studios Islands of Adventure already has a Marvel Island. It's not a bad little land. But here's the thing: Disney owns Marvel. They have no excuse to not make this. Sure I don't know where it'll fit, but just make a city and fill it with all the Marvel superheroes. Or at least the ones who's movies you're not ashamed to have made. So no Fantastic Four or Ghost Rider (since having the Devil Incarnate at Disney would not only be awkward, setting the performer's head on fire every day would get old fast). But ignoring the fact, who wouldn't want to meet the Avengers? Sure tubby guys like me couldn't be playing them, but still. It'd be awesome. Out of all the lands Disney should be making this one the most.

1)Pixar Land: Okay this is more of a theme park than a land, but this needs to be made. You already have Toy Story Land, Bugs Life Land, Cars Land and Tomorrow Land/Frontier Land (that stole a lot from Toy Story). Not to mention a little play area based on Brave and the rides based on Finding Nemo & Monsters Inc. In fact there's more Pixar-inspired stuff at Disneyland then there's Disney inspired stuff Basically take all the movies they've made, make them into individual lands, make them into a park of its very own. Pixarland. Sure not quite as catchy as Disneyland, but it would still be a good fun time for the whole family. Plus Pixar could take all that money and use it to continue to make some of the greatest films ever made. A land based on each of their movies. It'd be the best thing ever.

So there you have it. Six lands that need to be made for a Disney theme park. If you disagree with anything, or have anything to add, feel free to leave a comment. Till next time.