|Posted by Ratin8tor on July 14, 2012 at 5:10 PM|
Hello and welcome to In Too Deep, where I over-analyse a certain section of pop culture.
My name is Lemeul Gulliver and it is the year 2012, the sixtieth year of her majesty's Queen Elizabeth the Second reign. I was born in a small corner of Bedfordshire to a loving father and mother. Named I was after my ancestor Lemeul Gulliver, who travelled the world before succumbing to a fit of madness. His desire to travel has bitten me too, as such I have set forth in search of strange new lands of unknown wonders. Here, dear reader, is the account of my tale.
My first destination, following the footsteps of my ancestor, was to arrive in Lilliput. I presumed that I too would be welcome with open arms as my father once was, when the fear of his size had finally diminished. Sadly I arrived on the eve of their last great war. For these little people squabbled amongst themselves most fiercely that it was a sight to behold. The battlefield, perhaps a yard of land, was littered with the corpses of those fallen. Those left still fought with a ferocious savagery unlike any I had ever seen. My attempts to find out the reasons behind this debacle yielded few results. Any answers I got pointed to the idea that this feud was about things most petty indeed. Who knew so much rabid discussion could come from such minor disputes. But I'm afraid I wasn't able to discern more evidence, since a terrible tragedy befell this once great nation. It seemed that either by an act of man or God a fire suddenly spread across this battlefield, engulfing all in its flames. My previous attempts to urinate it would have been for naught when faced with this blaze. It was all I could do to escape with my life. But what would compel these people to fight and die over such minor things. Was it really worth the time and effort to argue about such petty feuds?
With Lilliput now sadly gone, I moved onto Brobdingang to see how the locals were fairing. Truth be told I did not look forward to travelling to this country; but I was interested in seeing how they had changed. Changed they had indeed. I was escorted by a noble to the courtroom, where it seems like trials were taking place every day. The giants sat in their high chairs and leered at the prosecuted, humans of my size. They were being unfairly accused of stealing things when they had no case against them. The defence lawyers pleaded fair use, that nobody was being hurt. But these giants refused to listen. In their mind even the smallest of theft was the greatest of crimes. A merciful verdict would be life in prison. More often then not it was death. Though what seemed to baffle me was how crimes of murder and violation of other humans was treated as less serious then this petty theft. That for some reason the idea of someone sharing the creation of someone else's was deemed a more heinous crime then the snuffing out of life itself. It revolted me and I quickly took my leave to the next destination.
I tried to visit Laputa, but they had recently decided to refuse visitors into their fair floating city. They had developed a rather unsettling ego that put them above their peers and would happily throw rocks down on those that disagreed. While I could understand the inhabitants of Brobdingang feeling superior to their size, I failed to understand how one man could think he was better than another due to the circumstances he found himself in. That his opinion on a subject was of something that was regarded as great importance. I fail to see why those that float above the rest have more informed opinions, so I ignored it and went to the Grand Academy formally found at Lagado, now located on the ground. I was wondering whether their ideas of collecting knowledge had evolved since a previous Gulliver had set foot there. It turns out there were the source of all knowledge in the world. Anyone could come in and deposit knowledge. Of course this lead to the problem of not being able to verify if any knowledge brought into the Grand Academy was true or not. As such nothing that was left there could be truly classified as 'true' or not, thus being mostly useless. What is the point of having a wealth of human knowledge if there is no way of verifying that the information is correct? Disappointed I continued on my way.
After much searching I finally managed to discover the Country of the Houyhnhnms. The explanation of why my ancestor only cared to talk to the horses was soon revealed when I conversed with them. Their plan to castrate the Yahoos had failed miserably. Instead they seemed to have grown slightly more intelligent and ever more repulsive. These trollish creatures delighted in the suffering in others, often spending their days hurting their fellow Yahoos for no other reason then because they could. Their strange behaviour baffled me greatly. However the Houyhnhnms themselves failed to live up to my expectations. Arrogant and condescending, they would not hear one word of criticism against what they liked. Instead they would vehemently neigh and push me away, saying how that what they liked was perfect and that I was foolish to disagree. I couldn't tell who's company I felt more repulsed in, the trollish Yahoos or the fanatic Houyhnhnms. Dejected I left back to my home country.
If my travels have taught me anything, it is that the world is in just a vile place as that of my ancestor's. More so in fact, since people can more swiftly be horrible to each other. I vowed to forever stay excluded from the world, shut off in my estate. I chose peace and serenity that comes from being alone. I publish this urging others to follow my behaviour. If you disagree with anything, or have anything to add, feel free to comment below good sir. I forbid the use of cellular phones or electronic devices that connected to that ghastly internet and therefore I here entreat those who have any tincture of this absurd vice, that they will not presume to come in my sight.
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